I haven't written about the cats in a while so this is going to be about them. I want to start out by asking, did you know that when male cats get neutered, they can still, well, you know? They can! I came home one day from work to find Swiffur having his way with Bluepurr. I was horrified. I know I got her to keep him company, but I never expected they'd be doing that! Batting a few catnip toys around together, chasing each other around the house, pouncing at each other, but certainly not THAT!
I was tormented for a week on what to do about this. Do I let the two of them have their fun? I mean, Bluepurr can't get pregnant because Swiffur is fixed, so what the heck, right? But on the other hand, something about it just seems so...wrong. And even if I wanted to do something about it, what exactly could I do? Do they sell chastity belts for cats?
Not coming up with an option on how to control the situation, (other than selling one of them or locking them up in separate rooms which seems mean), I have allowed them to have kitty coitus in my house. It seems to be working out for both of them so who am I to stop it.
I draw the line at this though. I came home to find them engaging in, well, um, how do I say it, um, S & M I think. Did you know that cats like kitty bondage? Me either. But this is what I came home to. Things must have gotten out of hand:
What is Bluepurr doing? Does she think she's Lady Gaga going to the Grammy's?
Actually, that's a mask that I bought for Swiffur because Petco uses one when they trim his claws. I trim Bluepurr's claws and she doesn't seem to mind me doing it. She is so easy going, you can do anything to her. (Including putting this mask on her!) But Swiffur, on the other hand, he has learned how to compensate for not having front claws by using his rear legs and claws and he has left a bloody trail behind him. So I bought the mask to try to see if I can trim his nails. (Especially if they're going to be fooling around, he needs to keep his nails clipped for her sake.)
All of this got me thinking that if they are "dating", or whatever it is that they do here every day when we all leave the house, that they should celebrate Valentine's Day too. So I put together a little video that shows what they did on Valentine's Day. (God knows, I wasn't going to post a video of me getting a massage or going in the pool, so this will have to suffice.)
Disclaimer: No cats were hurt in the making of this video. Humans? Yes. Cats, no.
This video is rated "R" for sexual innuendo, adult positions, and grinding, inappropriate music.
No cat whiskers were burnt...well, yes they were...No, they weren't.
My Kaneclusion: Do cats even know it's Valentine's Day at all? Other than the little chocolate foil wrappers that I find in odd places, they probably don't know what the holiday is. It's not like they eat chocolate, or like roses, or drink wine. So I gave them a special treat of Pounce by candlelight. I felt that I needed to do something for them since they didn't really get the choice of whether they wanted to "Be Mine" or not. They just are.
And like my girls, who I love more than anything, I love these stupid cats next in line.
No comments:
Post a Comment