What is the Definition of Insanity?

Do you remember IT. If not, please refer to IT's article by clicking here. For those that remember that story, you'll recall that I didn't want a cat. But Rachel did, and Santa delivered Swiffur (aka IT) against my approval. It's only been 7 months and that little move on Santa's part has set me back $500 thus far. Swiffur was neutered and declawed because in both cases, he was destroying my house. Then he got an infection in one of his paws. Cha-ching. Another $80 office visit. Yup. RACHEL'S cat is very costly so far. Thanks Santa!

Ok, so naturally, if Rachel asked me for another pet, the answer would be no. Absolutely not. I'm not Santa. Unequivocally no. And naturally, one would think that I would NOT want to embark on any more additional expenses like additional vet bills, right? It would be crazy to take on another pet, especially since we travel a lot in an RV, right? Clearly, it would be INSANE to even consider, especially when I didn't want a cat in the first place, right? It would be preposterous to let another animal into the house when we just got this kitten 7 months ago, correct? Am I right?


Well, by now you've probably guessed it. Yes, I have gone completely and utterly mad.

So here goes - Ahem- I hereby announce the arrival of the new addition to the crazy cat lady's farm. We have purchased an 8 week old Himalayan Persian kitten all in an effort to keep Swiffur company. (Again, thanks Santa. You couldn't have sprung for a friend for Swiffur?)

At this point, I want to ask you to do me a favor. Yes, I mean you. You, the person reading this blog. Please step away from your keyboard, drop your cell phone, or walk away from the library computer that you are reading this on, and call the funny farm people to come get me. I have clearly and obviously lost my mind. Maybe not in a Mel Gibson kind of way. But definitely in a Michael Jackson-has-to-have-a-monkey kind of way.

But enough about my psychosis and on to the specifics of this intrusion into what was previously my calm existence. The kitten is a girl and she doesn't have a name yet. Like Swiffur, when he didn't have a name at first, we called him "It". In that same vein, this girl kitten has been named temporarily, "She-It". (Let's pause to let that one sink in. Maybe it's best if you say it out loud, preferably with people around. She-it. Say it loudly. Scream it if you have to. SHE-IT. Now picture yourself calling the kitten. Roll play. "C'mere SHE-IT".)

(Hey, it was better than the alternative name. "Eff-her". Again, say it out loud - but make sure the kids aren't within earshot.)

She is a pedigree Blue Point Himalayan Persian. She has beautiful, husky-like blue eyes. In trying to come up with a name, I thought, what is blue? I know. Curacao, as in the blue liquor. More like blue licker. It fit, but Rachel vetoed it.

I wanted to name her N. Dust, to go with Swiffur, sticking with the dusting theme. But we would end up calling her Dusty and that seemed so common. (No offense to those that have chosen that name for their animal. It's a perfectly fine name. Just not in this house with another cat named Swiffur. It would be like having two kids: one named Reginald Ichabod III and his sister, Ann.)

Because she is mostly white with touches of gray and has sky blue eyes, we thought that a name having to do with clouds might be fitting. I did some research and looked up clouds and stumbled upon Nimbus. Since she's a girl, we thought Nimbus-elle might work. "Here, Nimbus-elle!". It's still under consideration. If she falls down the stairs one more time, I swear I'll call her that. (Props to Dianne for this one.)

When we got her home, we gave the little She-it a bath because she stunk to high heaven. After she was bathed, Rachel said, "Look Swiffur, we brought you home a lady friend." Unfortunately, Swiffur didn't take to She-it as much as we would have hoped. He attacked her a few times, pinning her to the ground, biting her. It was quite upsetting to see Swiffur, who is a very manly, studly, I-own-this-place kind of cat, attack the little 2 ounce-sized ball of fur, and being very aggressive with her. It made Rachel cry. Not the happy homecoming we had all pictured. Maybe he didn't want a lady friend. Maybe this was cruel and insensitive for us to have his testicles removed and then bring home some young thang. Guess we didn't think that through. But everything we read said to mix a boy and girl cat together and do it while they are still kittens. So that's what we did.

We separated the two and decided that this wasn't going to be love at first sight. This was going to take some coaxing. Mr. Swiffur was not happy with us at all.

Swiffur, Before She-it:

After the She-it hit the fan:

She-it wasn't happy with us either. She was happy in her smelly, cat pee house that we stole her away from. Disappointment all around.

For the last week it's been "What should we call her?" With all the creative minds working on it, the list is endless. When we're not coming up with ingenious names, we're busy locking her in a room so Swiffur doesn't rip her apart with his teeth and hind legs. I'm sure he's just playing, but she has claws and he doesn't. When she gets a good swipe in, he takes his aggression to the next level and starts kicking the she-it out of her. Then we have to separate them.

At this point, if you haven't already scrolled down to just look at the pictures, you probably want to know what She-it looks like. She's beautiful. So much so that we may not get her fixed because we may want to breed her. Her parents are registered (chocolate Persian and fire point Himalayan). Matched with the right stud cat, she would have beautiful kittens. Just look for yourself at how rich and extraordinarily gorgeous she is.

Isn't she exquisite? We thought so.

My Kaneclusion: Once Rachel leaves home to go to college, leaving me all alone, I've decided to become a crazy cat lady and this is just the beginning. Why is this my goal? Well, in my experience, cats are better than people. They don't lie to you; don't betray your trust; don't cheat on you; don't delete you off facebook (LOL). They don't talk back; don't take 1/2 hour showers; don't complain about their food. They don't expect to go to college and have you pay their tuition. And most importantly, they can't write, therefore they can't type stories about you. Yup, cats are the way to go!

My other Kaneclusion, (it's my blog, I can have more than one if I want) is that whoever said two cats are better than one was full of She-it.

Tune in next week when hopefully I have a name for Miss Thang. The above picture was taken after her bath. Hey, I'm sure you're no Julia Roberts when you get out of the shower! Here are some pictures of her:

Making herself comfortable in a plant:

If we zoom back, this is why:

In the following picture, Swiffur has her trapped in a basket (see a trend?):

A moment's rest (She-it is licking her chops):


Tom said...

While there are so many comments that can be made, like coming to your place and being in the She-It house, or looking up the definition of insanity, and your picture is there, or the dictionary refers to "See Kane" for further definition, I will refrain from such comments, but will continue to LMAO!!!!!

Laurie said...

I certainly do not think you are crazy. If your pic is next to the definition of insane, than so is mine. I had three cats at once. They eventually became buddies. Although they were out door cats, they protected our home from all kinds of ...predators. Such as: mice, moles, squirrels, chipmunks,birds and even the occasional baby rabbit. (Which we nursed back to health from his tramatic experience. We called him Romeo) We often named ours names that went together too. For instance: Fish & Chips, Buick & Skylark. One we called Skid Mark because she was pure white except for a very dark patch near her behind. She had kittens and her runt was pure white, he also had a very dark patch but his ran down the back of his neck, so we called him Mullet.

Jen said...

LMAO Sharon! I need to subscribe to your blog, I laughed out loud throughout the whole thing! Her name, btw, should be Lady Gaga, p-p-p-p-poker face!!!!

Jocelyne said...

If next you decide to get a dog then I will have to agree that you have lost it! Lol!

Angela said...

I think you are crazy!! :)

Cathy said...

I can't believe you did it...She-it!!!

Cherlo said...

You win the battle of insanity...that she-it is unbeleivably funny. I hope doesn't become a shred-it, or have major problems....cuz that would be like holy she-it...LOL